I hope that you are doing well. I am really sorry for everything that I’ve done or that I regret I didn’t.
Sometimes I just wonder by myself, did you ever miss me or think about me and all the great years that we’ve been through?
It is crazy and unbe-bloody-lievable that our friendship has come to an awkwardness. No matter how many times you said that we are okay, but I know deep in your heart, you are not. And I am not.
Thank you for helping me when I was in need. For never questioning anything much when I’m asking for your help. Thank you for being such a very good friend to me.
I know all the words in the world cannot heal the pain I have caused, cannot fix our things back together. But seriously, deep in my heart, I hope that someday you will miss me, too.
There’s nothing I can do except writing to you this letter which I know you would not even know it exists. I feel so ashamed trying to glue our friendship back when I’m the one who broke it.
I know that you dont want me to step in your life anymore. My silence is not because I did not try hard enough for asking you to forgive me, it is just because I know that you are happy with your life right now.
I hope mak, bapak, your younger brother and twin sisters are in the pink of health. Take care of them as well as you take care of yourself.
Just a few reminder here, sweep and mop the floor and put things back at their place after using it. Shoes belong to the rack. Buy a new closet and clean the workspace and your room neatly. Clean the toilet, too. It’s important. I cannot remember when was the last time I did all that.
It is funny that I can still remember our promise that if our age have reached 30 years old and we wouldn’t have partners, we’ll be getting married together.
You are my bestfriend but I’ve hurt you the most. To me, no one in the world can be you. Nobody in the world could be you.
But somehow, Z, things too, must change. Neither I didn’t hear anything from you anymore nor asking about it. We’ve been eaten by our time and our ego.
I’m so sorry for not doing the best enough to save this friendship. Yes I’m the one that is guilty, but this heart, too, know when to stop apologizing.
Just so you know, when you feel that there’s no one in the world that you can rely on, I am still here.
I will always be here. For you.